allthistime

each day i walk past the same yard
overgrown with weeds and mess
i swear there are tics, snakes and even a gila monster lurking around in there
and quite frankly my feet are too precious to walk through
but this time it was different.

i rolled up my pants and sprayed my legs with OFF
my eyesight is different, but im not trying to welcome lyme disease
armed with ink and dip pens, sketch pad and pastels, a camera and a blanket
i must have lost my mind
this was not meeh
but i have not been meeh in a few days now.

i knew exactly what i wanted and where to find it
or i thought i did, yeah thats what it was.

there was a lady bug crawling on one of the blades of grass
i was shocked, didnt realize there was grass there
i see everything differently now
i picked it up and put it on my arm
and it crawled in and out of the hairs
like it had its very own playground
and i wanted to be just that.

it was a different world with vegetation id seen nowhere else
not in my well groomed parks
with the right plants in the right place
only because i refused to see other possibilities
i liked this place
i liked where it took meeh
and i loved what it did to meeh.

this place was everything i never wanted
everything i refused to associate myself with
and somehow everything that made meeh happy
it reminded meeh of how i used to feel before life weighed in
it was like a sanctuary, controlled chaos with beauty everywhere

and just like that, it hit meeh
i thought i knew it all but only looked through one window
and all at once all i thought i wanted was erased
and i just wanted to be here.
show meeh, ladybug, what a fool ive been all this time.