simplyenjoythevisits

its funny the way i can find myself seated at the table

in the same chair of the same kitchen in the same house for days

and still be lost

wondering where i am

and how i got there

funny the way such things work

i thought of you today as i was doing some cleaning

there were memories i had locked in a box in the back of the closet

a pretty big box too... labeled "when the time is right"

i forget about that stupid thing all the time

but when the time is right...

there it is...

just where i need it to be

i dont know what it is like to move on from things

my problem is that i never dealt with them in the first place

to move on from them in the next

but how the world turns...

and i saw the end through

i never do that

now i feel like i am forced to deal with it so that i can move on from it

acknowledging this for meeh is more than that

i would have to recognize plenty other departures

and frankly, i am still not ready for that

its the only part of meeh that can deal with fiction.

its the part of meeh that wishes things were the same as they had always been

its the part of meeh that thinks the reason that we have not spoken is because i have been stupid busy

and have been too selfish to make the timesto pick up the fone and make that call.

i think that as long as i can lie to myself in that, i can be alright

the smile that is plastered to my face can remain

and i dont have to explain one bit of myself to another.

but then again there are times when i feel like you are visiting meeh and its nice

in the cold of the night, and all of the nights are cold without your warmth

i enjoy the visit you pay...