afterthehurricane

so i have dry mouth. i would love nothing more than to drink a tall refreshing glass of water... WAIT there is one thing... i want ALWAYS to be aligned with the will of God. and so i tarry on.

so i told myself that i dont believe in keeping up with the Jones'. I mean, I dont know them people and could care less for what they got. No one actually lives with them, so who knows what their "real life" is like. So i choose mine, flaws and all. And Lord knows ive got em.

there is a purpose to this. i have hidden myself not just from the world, but from myself. its a painful process, but i want to peel back all these sheets i have hidden under all these years. i want to be exposed - the bare naked meeh. for the first time... in a lifetime.

the thunder only bothers her when she was alone.
nothing ever bothers her until then.
she was forced to see herself then. to deal with herself then. to be with herself
in a crowd of people she could become what she needed to be.
a bougie superwoman as some would say.
i prefer the other version.
the well poised even tempered well mannered young lady.
the way they made em back when women had a place and were content in it.
you see she was strong, well read and well versed.
she shined fine, but never took the spotlight
she was humble. still is.

but alone the superwoman was weak and scared of her own shadow
no one knew who she was not even herself.
and that is the way she wanted it to be.
until she began to suffocate.
the thunder was all around
the lightening bright striking the fear of God in her heart.

the only option she had was to peer from underneath all the sheets to see where the lightening was coming from
then she could take cover.
and it hurt
with every sheet that she tore away the sound of thunder grew louder and louder.
her ears were ringing
but for the first time in a lifetime she pressed on

and after the hurricane she saw the sky
surrounded by strangers
as naked as the day she was born.