imaredbone

it happened before
i was too young to know alot of things
but old enough to know i'd never be the same
he was the man i looked to for safety
he killed meeh instead
and i would never look to anyone that way again
but it happened again
in a moment of weakness you became the man i looked to for safety
in a strange world im still trying to figure out how i got to
and you killed meeh
again and again

i could still feel the sting of where the back of his hand made contact with my face.
and the black eye i went on the interview with
im a good liar now, thanks to you.
to say sorry you forced meeh to my knees
yes- forced. wanna see the bruises
im a red bone and things like that dont hide at all let alone well.

you waved your manhood like a flag in my face
and were content to make meeh your flag pole.
when i ran you tied meeh up.
when i screamed your fist met my face
and then a pillow

i almost thought id rather be dead.
but what good would i be then.
i endured. i questioned, but i endured.
and i m a stronger woman now
not a bitter woman - though every now and then a memory will flood my entire being
and i hide so no one else can see.

i dont say the things other girls in my shoes say
"ive been hurt so many times blah blah blah"
HA! i was watching Trip the Light Poetic and MAN, did D. Walker hit that one on the HEAD!!!
but it wasnt meeh.
because i didnt want anyone to see.

so i wear these masks - more like tattoos
because i knew after you raped meeh
i would never be the same
but see, no one else needed to know that.